one might say we're banned from that church
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Randomize