Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize