she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
BRING THE BAGELS
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
