I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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