Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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