real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
