I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
its liver damage thursday
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Randomize
