you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
