no you cant smoke seaweed
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
