we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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