I CAN MOONWALK!
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i think i have herpe
just one?
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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