In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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