dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize