you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I like my sex mixed with concussions.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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