Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
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