If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Never joke about your clitoris.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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