sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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