I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
