He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
You pole danced in your parka.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
