I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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