are you so shy because you have an std?
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Randomize
