Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
