you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
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Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
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She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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