You work out of a Hotel?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Randomize
