i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
