how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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