that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
