I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
