On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Randomize
