So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
