Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Randomize
