sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
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