I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
