Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
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