true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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