Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
Randomize
