I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
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I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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