it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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