Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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