This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Randomize
