Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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