Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
