I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
