NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
