I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
