Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
