come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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