i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
