Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
Randomize
