I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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