Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize