I am puke
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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