OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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