my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
