I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
