advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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