oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
