she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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