I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
