you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
