Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
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