New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
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