his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
