my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Randomize
