he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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