Christians are straight up FREAKS
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Randomize