can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize