I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
