Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
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