Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Randomize
