whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
